Why people do what they do
Sometimes, it is difficult to explain or rationalise the behaviour of someone, a bit like footballer Eric Cantona’s ‘kung fu’ moment when after being sent off he attacked a fan berating him on his way to the changing rooms. Console yourself with the notion that some things just can’t be explained. Well, actually they probably can. Things might come as a surprise on one hand but are largely predictable on the other.
We rarely if ever had witnessed a moment in football, certainly British football, where a player had openly attacked a supporter. There was an unwritten rule, that is, a fan can say anything about you, your family or anything of a personal nature to you, and as a professional footballer, you have to rise above it and walk on…walk on, with hope in your heart!
Supporters pay their hard-earned cash week in, week out, and so this gives them a certain entitlement because footballers are overpaid and thus they are well enough rewarded so they can take the abuse. That was until that moment when Eric Cantona said, non merci, je ne prends plus cette merde!
No-one could explain in that moment what had just happened and it sent football into a spin. Supporters attacking each other? Yes. Supporters even attacking players? We’ve seen that. A footballer attacking a fan, now there was something novel. But was it really a surprise? After all, Eric Cantona is human, he is subjected to abuse every week and thus it’s the ‘norm’ and he should after all, know better. Well on one hand yes, but it doesn’t quite explain everything. Why then? Why at that moment? What as the trigger?
We know so much more now about human behaviour. Information is freely available and there’s barely a month passes without researchers or scientists publishing articles or the results of tests and experiments that go a little deeper and further in explaining human behaviour. The development of neuro-science in recent decades gives us insights and clarity that we could only have imagined back in the ‘80s and ‘90s.
What are some of the reasons that explain certain behaviours? We know for example, that trolling is normally performed by those who feel they have no power; they have no influence, and nothing to lose, unless of course the person they are trolling is much bigger and can trace them to their address.
I recall reading about a boxer who was able to do exactly that and turned up at the door of a troll. Needless to say, the troll pulled out the old ‘I was only kidding’ card and refused to come out and play. We know that people often say and do things in a given moment that doesn’t truly reflect what they think or believe but as they realise they no longer control the situation, they revert to or adopt a defensive or protectionist position.
Humans don’t like to be excluded and thus conform to certain behaviours even if that expectation is only their own. Morality often governs expectations, and expectations dictate responses, in line with your beliefs that you assume others share with you, until ‘that moment’ you are the lone voice!
There are those that are indeed psychopaths. They move among us, exhibiting a lack of empathy and remorse – the only surprise being that we tend to be surprised that there people who lack empathy and remorse actually exist.
We think we have good memories, we think we are smarter than we are (and most other people we know), we overestimate and underestimate, and we behave badly when we believe no-one is watching. We feel more strongly about loss than gain, our belief in continued co-operation keeps chaos from ensuing and when we are threatened we’re unable to think clearly or rationally.
We reject facts that do not fit with our beliefs, sometimes things only make sense in ‘that moment’ we try to rationalise the behaviour of people we like and dismiss the behaviour of people we don’t like as bad, and we can pretty much handle embarrassment but not shame or humiliation.
Knowing why people do what they do is more than useful, can save you lots of energy, angst, time and perhaps even your life!
